From the book ”The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz (a great read in a few hours!), there were some incredible insights and a few passages resonated with me as key messages.
Thousands of years ago, the Toltec were known throughout southern Mexico as “women and men of knowledge.” Anthropologists have spoken of the Toltec as a nation or a race, but, in fact, the Toltec were scientists and artists who formed a society to explore and conserve the spiritual knowledge and practices of the ancient ones. They came together as masters (naguals) and students at Teotihuacan, the ancient city of pyramids outside Mexico City known as the place where “Man Becomes God.” Toltec knowledge arises from the same essential unity of truth as all the sacred esoteric traditions found around the world. Though it is not a religion, it honours all the spiritual masters who have taught on earth. While it does embrace spirit, it is most accurately described as a way of life, distinguished by the ready accessibility of happiness and love.
The Smokey Mirror speaks of matter being a mirror – everything is a mirror that reflects light and creates images of that light – and the world of illusion, the Dream, is just like smoke which doesn’t allow us to see what we really are. The real us is pure love, pure light and everyone is a mirror. Each of us is the Smokey Mirror, because we look at ourselves in all others, but we don’t recognize each other because of the smoke in-between us. That smoke is the Dream, and the mirror is you. the dreamer.
As children, we didn’t have the opportunity to choose our beliefs. The only way to store information is by agreement. As soon as we agree, we believe it, and this is called faith. To have faith is to believe unconditionally. That’s how we learn as children. When we hear an opinion and believe it, we make an agreement. The belief system is like a Book of Law that rules our mind. Whatever is in the Book of Law, is our truth, and we base all judgements according to the Book of Law, even if these judgements go against our own inner nature. The inner Judge uses what is in our Book of Law to judge everything we do and don’t do, everything we think and don’t think, and everything we feel and don’t feel. These beliefs are so strong, that even years later when we are exposed to new concepts and try to make our own decisions, we find that these beliefs still control our lives. Because everything in the Book of Law has to be true, anything that challenges what you believe is going to make you feel unsafe (fear). Even if the Book of Law is wrong, it makes you feel safe. That is why we need a great deal of courage to challenge our own beliefs. Nobody abuses us more than we abuse ourselves, and it is the Judge and the belief system that make us do this. The way we judge ourselves is the worst judge that ever existed.
You need a very strong will in order to adopt the Four Agreements – but if you begin to live your life with these agreements, the transformation in your life will be amazing. You will be creating a new dream – your personal dream of heaven.
The First Agreement – Be impeccable with your word
This agreement is the most important one and also the most difficult one to honour. Through the word you express your creative power. It is through the word you manifest everything. The word is a force; it is the power you have to express and communicate, to think, and thereby to create the events in your life. Your word can create the most beautiful dream (beauty, love, heaven on earth), or your word can destroy everything around you (living hell). Depending upon how it is used, the word can set you free, or it can enslave you even more than you know. All the magic you possess is based on your word. When you are impeccable, you take responsibility for your actions, but you do not judge or blame yourself. It means to use your energy in the direction of truth and love for yourself. Become impeccable with our word and emotional poison will eventually be cleaned from our mind and from our communication in our personal relationships. You can measure the impeccability of your word by your level of self-love. When you are impeccable with your word, you feel good, you feel happy and at peace.
The Second Agreement – Don’t take anything personally
Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally. You take it personally because you agree with whatever was said. When you take things personally, then you feel offended, and your reaction is to defend your beliefs and create conflicts. Others are going to have their own opinion according to their belief system, so nothing they think is really about you, it is about them. Your point of view is personal to you. It is no-one’s truth but yours. If you get mad, then you know you are dealing with yourself. Even the opinions you have about yourself are not necessarily true; therefore, you don’t need to take whatever you hear in your own mind personally. The mind has the ability to talk and listen to itself. The programming in the mind – all of those agreements we have made – are not necessarily compatible with each other. Every agreement is like a separate living being. Humans don’t agree with themselves because there are parts of the mind that want one thing, and other parts that want exactly the opposite. Don’t take anything personally because by taking things personally you set yourself up to suffer for nothing. If someone is not treating you with love and respect, it is a gift if they walk away from you. You will find that you don’t need to trust others as much as you need to trust yourself to make the right choices. When you refuse to take things personally, you can hardly be hurt by the careless comments or actions of others.
The Third Agreement – Don’t make assumptions
The problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are the truth. Whenever we make assumptions, we’re asking for problems. We make an assumption, we misunderstand, we take it personally, and we end up creating a whole big drama for nothing. All the sadness and drama you have lived in your life was rooted in making assumptions and taking things personally. Take a moment to consider the truth of this statement. The whole war of control between humans is about making assumptions and taking things personally. We make all sorts of assumptions because we don’t have the courage to ask questions. We don’t need to justify love; it is there or not there. Real love is accepting other people the way they are without trying to change them. If we try to change them, this means we don’t really like them. The way to keep from making assumptions is to ask questions. If you don’t understand, ask. Find your voice to ask for what you want. Everybody has the right to tell you yes or no, but you always have the right to ask. Without making assumptions, your word becomes impeccable. If all humans could communicate in this way, with clear communication, with impeccability of the word, there would be no wars, violence, no misunderstandings.
The Fourth Agreement – Always do your best
This agreement is about the action of the first three agreements. Under any circumstance, always do your best, no more and no less. Keep in mind that your best is never going to be the same from one moment to the next. Regardless of the quality, just do your best – in any circumstance in your life. Doing your best, you are going to live your life intensely. You are going to be productive, you are going to be good to yourself. When you do your best, you don’t give the Judge the opportunity to find you guilty or blame you. With the answer “I did my best”, there are no regrets. That is why we always do our best. It is not an easy agreement to keep, but this agreement is really going to set you free. You can have a great many ideas in your head, but what makes the difference is action. Without action upon an idea, there will be no manifestation, no results, and no reward. Live your life doing your best, letting go of the past and living in the present moment, right here and now. If you live in the past, you don’t enjoy what is happening right now because you will always wish it to be different than it is. Not enjoying what is happening right now is being only half alive. The first three agreements will only work if you do your best. Don’t expect that you will always be able to be impeccable to your word, don’t expect that you will never take anything personally, don’t expect that you will never make another assumption, buy you certainly can do your best. By doing your best, you become a master of transformation. We really need to use every bit of power we have to succeed in keeping these agreements. Your happiness, your freedom, your entire way of living depends on it. If you fail, do not judge, start all over again. If you break an agreement, begin again tomorrow, and again the next day. Each day will become easier and easier. Don’t be concerned about the future, keep your attention on today, and stay in the present moment. Just live one day at a time. Today is the beginning of a new dream.
For every agreement you break that makes you suffer, you will need to replace it with a new agreement that makes you happy. This will keep the old agreement from coming back. Every day we awake with a certain amount of mental, emotional and physical energy that we spend throughout the day. If we allow our emotions to deplete our energy, we have no energy to change our lives or to give to others. It is the emotions that control the behavior of the human, not the human who controls the emotions. Forgiveness is the key. Self-acceptance begins, and the self-love will grow so strong that you will finally accept yourself just the way you are. That’s the beginning of the free human.
The dream you are living is your creation. It is your perception of reality that you can change at any time. You have the power to create hell, and you have the power to create heaven. You are no longer responsible for anyone’s opinion. You have no need to control anyone, and no one controls you, either. Imagine living your life without judging others. You can easily forgive others and let go of any judgements that you have. You don’t have the need to be right, and you don’t need to make anyone else wrong. You respect yourself and everyone else, and they respect you in return. Imagine that you love yourself just the way you are. You know that you are perfect just as you are. This way of life is possible, and it’s in your hands. The only reason you are happy is because you choose to be happy. We have a choice: to suffer our destiny or to enjoy our destiny. To suffer, or to love and be happy. To live in hell, or to live in heaven. My choice is to live in heaven. What is yours?
This quote sums it up “You don’t get to choose how you’re going to die. Or when. You can only decide how you’re going to live.” ~ Joan Barez
If you follow Opray Winfrey’s inspiration “The biggest adventure you have is to live the life of your dreams” then you’re on track.
Reflecting upon this small section from Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, how FREE are you? How well do you believe you are living according to the Four Agreements? Are you doing your best, no matter the circumstances in life? Are the Four Agreements a way of life you choose for you? Most importantly, and above all else, are you living your heaven on earth .... are you living a life you love? :-)
Karen Low is the owner of Coach Me Now! To learn more, please contact Karen on 0409 343 336.
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