Today, I’m going to share with you 3 key areas in which I personally believe this to be true.
YOU are 100% responsible for your life!
Your life! Not the person sitting next to you, significant other or partner, parents, children, family, friends, neighbours, team mates, drinking buddies, people at work, manager, business partners.
As you sit here, ask yourself “Where are you not taking full responsibility in your life?” Are you at the bridge steering your ship or asleep in your cabin?
Maybe you are making excuses, justifying your behaviour, blaming someone or something else. I call this below the line behaviour, a victim of circumstance, a cop out if you will.
What’s the cost or pain to you of not taking responsibility for your life?
There’s usually a pain point, whether it be relationship, financial, home, work, friendships, health, fitness, our level of self-worth or self-esteem, our frame of mind, negative emotions, loss or grief, feelings of sadness, regret or opportunity lost. This may show up in a variety of ways in our lives, sometimes to the point of overwhelm, depression or burnout.
If you’re not happy in all (or most) areas of your life, what do you need to change to be more responsible in these areas of your life? To achieve different results than what you’re getting now. Start thinking about what they may be for you, if anything.
How often do we listen to the taps on the shoulder we receive as we live each day? It is these hints, clues, an inkling or indication that guide us to the opportunities, changes and the focus we need to have.
Life happens! We may be unable to change what happens, as only about 10% of what happens to us is within our control, however, we can take responsibility for how we respond in situations that arise. It is not about giving up, it is about listening to the lesson. The real roadblock for each of us is that we have not listened or responded to a message that has already been given to us.
I chat with a lot of people who know something is not right in their life or their work, but struggle to work out the problem areas they need to work on. When we take the time to be objective and assess where we’re at in life, we often identify the lessons we’re yet to learn and the challenges we can start overcoming now.
Being responsible can start easily with making “I ….” statements, rather than “You ….” statements or “This happened because ….” statements. Remember, when you’re pointing at someone, you have 1 finger pointing at someone else and 3 fingers pointing backwards, towards you.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over and expecting a different result. If nothing changes, nothing changes.
You can influence others, you can only control yourself 100%.
Take responsibility for your life and steer your ship where you want it to go.
Values are the core of "WHO” you are, your ESSENCE.
Values are individual and unique to us all. For some it may be around honesty, integrity, respect, acceptance, for others it may be around money, business, career, wealth, prosperity, abundance, or around self, partner, family, children, fun, learning, giving back, etc.
Have you ever stopped to think whether you and your actions are congruent and in alignment with your values?
When you think about it, are they your values or someone else’s?
Are you living your life on purpose or living someone else’s dream?
It may be time to take a quick snapshot of how you’re tracking so far.
In life, do you honour your values or let them slide to keep the peace or please others?
When speaking, do you speak with integrity, conviction, commitment and passion …. or with uncertainty, hesitation, doubt or fear?
When you’re not congruent or in alignment with your values, you are incongruent or out of alignment, which can lead to stress, heartache, pain, grief, regret, dis-ease, a feeling of unrest in your body.
We may come across as being insincere or not being genuine, wearing a mask or putting on a façade, which may impact on our credibility, our integrity, our reputation, our professionalism. How we are viewed or thought of by those around us. It may be none of my business what someone else thinks of me, however, in this day and age, perception is reality.
When people put their trust and faith in you, are you your word? Can you be relied upon to do what you say you’re going to do?
Do you go down with your ship, honouring the pledge and commitment you made, or do you jump ship and let your crew drown?
We live in a country where we have freedom of speech. We are blessed to have a level of safety, security, peace and choice in what we do.
Whether we realise it or not, we all have choice, no matter the outcome.
I say that you chose the people in your life, the house you live in, the job or business you do, whether to have children, get an education, how to maintain your health and fitness, go on holidays, social activities, fun things. You chose it all, whether you think you did or not.
When we hear questions like “What do YOU want?” or “Would YOU like...?” or “How do YOU feel about…?”, we are being asked for our input, our opportunity to share what we truly think, feel, know, believe.
When presented with opportunities or alternatives, do you make the decision for you or does someone else make it for you?
Do you make a choice or forego your voice?
Uncertainty and indecision can leave us in a place of limbo, a no man’s land.
What is it that you really want?
Where in your life do you need to choose and make a stand for who you are and what you want?
If you don’t know what you want, someone else may decide for you and you may not like the outcome, or you may continue along without passion or purpose, almost like a walking zombie, on autopilot. Life simply passes you by.
You may have heard the proverb “Man who aim at nothing is sure to hit it”.
Like a ship bouncing around on the ocean, at the mercy of the elements, rather than holding firm to a plotted course, with a destination in sight.
Going forward from today, when an opportunity presents itself or you have the opportunity to provide input or feedback, if you’re not already doing so, make an informed decision, make a choice and then take action, go for what you want. Think of the Nike tagline, “Just do it!”.
There’s an interesting quote I came across recently from Albert Camus, the great French Algerian author, journalist and key philosopher of the 20th century, summing it up succinctly, “Life is a sum of all your choices.”
So, how’s your ship travelling at this point? You may be thinking of changing your bearings or making some adjustments to your course, maybe even setting sail for a new destination or going into dock and taking some time out on land.
Robin Williams says in the movie “Dead Poet’s Society” CARPE DIEM!
SEIZE THE DAY! Let that day be today!
Take RESPONSIBILITY for your life, honour and live by your VALUES and make CHOICES that best support you in living the life you want, a life you love.
Karen Low is the owner of Coach Me Now! To learn more, please contact Karen on 0409 343 336.
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